Now available to pre-order: Swift Against Humanity

Paul Hudson
Wed, 06 Mar 2024 15:30:00 +0000
April Fools, Swift

So you think you know Swift? Think again! Fresh from the success of our audiobook launch, Laboratoires TwoStraws is back with an all-new card game that will finally give you something to do while waiting for Xcode to finish indexing.

It’s called Swift Against Humanity, and the rules are both dazzlingly simple and also surprisingly similar to some other games you might have previously heard of: one player places a black card on the table that contains a question or part of a sentence, and all other players play one white card they think best completes it. The first player then shuffles the white cards, reads them out, then picks a winner – it’s literally minutes of fun.

Pre-orders for Swift Against Humanity start tomorrow, with the first deliveries going out in the next week or so. Plus, we’re pleased to announce three incredible editions:

Swift Against Humanity Standard Edition: for the language purists out there.

Swift Against Humanity Enterprise Edition: for all you folks busy building with Swift Enterprise Edition.

Humanity Swift Concurrency Against Edition: for all developers who just love adding concurrency in places it really doesn’t belong.

Swift Against Humanity was developed in conjunction with legendary game designer Daniel Leivers, who had this to say: “Apple Store Genius Bar Fight Club! Clippy, but for Xcode! Fantasizing about the day Swift Evolution brings back Objective-C! I can literally write anything on these cards and people will buy them, we’re going to be so rich! Wait… are you recording this?”

We’ve been busy testing Swift Against Humanity for months now. Even Ed Kermenek, the Swift project lead, took a few hours out of his busy schedule to try it out, and had this to say: “Swift Against Humanity is neat and all, but the most important thing is that it doesn’t have any ****ing orange.”

Now at this point I know what you’re thinking: surely a game this great must attract a premium price tag? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that all three editions of Swift Against Humanity are available for just 5 SwiftCoin plus tax and delivery.

Plus if you order now we’ll send you an exclusive Spot the Swifty poster plus four limited edition bonus white cards:

“When your app gets rejected for a feature that’s in 100 other apps.”

“Longing for the days of UIKit’s warm embrace.”

“Manually managing memory like it’s 2010.”

“Using integers to index into strings the way god intended.”

So, the next time Xcode tells you to try breaking up an expression into distinct sub-expressions, try breaking out Swift Against Humanity instead!